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Adoption…

It’s #National Adoption Awareness month, did you know this? Maybe you didn’t because the thought of adoption has never crossed your mind. But have you ever thought that you may be having conversations with an adoptee?

If you have ever had a conversation with me then you have had a conversation with an adoptee. I am an adopted child.

I have been having the itch to write lately. Maybe because I have been having writer’s block for the last couple of months, more like the past year. But lately, I’ve been having dreams, and I’ve been listening to some brave people sharing their life stories. One of them was Adele! That live concert was FIRE! Her vulnerability inspired me to continue to speak up about my struggles so that others can find true healing. Yesterday I had a conversation with a professional in His 40’s and He happened to come across an article that was written about me. He thanked me for my vulnerability, transparency to share my past struggles, strengths, and hope with the world. It was at that moment when I realized that you never know who is reading your content! It may be the person that God is trying to speak to. The person He wants to reach, and transform their life. The person that feels that they are in the pit of hell, that is on their knees in need of a miracle. Our words are powerful. More powerful than we think. There is healing in our words if we use them for good. With this in mind. I wanted to answer some questions about my adoption story because I know there are many out there searching for purpose and true meaning in life. Also because you never know what someone has walked through in their life. So let’s do better and not be quick to judge. Instead, learn about their life story. Listen more to their heart instead of trying to fix them. There is always a reason why they walk around with a chip on their wing.

So here it goes…

At what age was I adopted?

I was 3 1/2 years old. I was brought over from Mexico to the United States.

Did you know your adopted parents?

No, but my biological mom knew my dad that adopted me–they were first cousins. Except my dad Is also adopted so they weren’t blood-related either. I know it gets complicated. A couple months ago my dad mentioned that my bio mom was possibly adopted too. So this is a generational pattern. My birth dad wanted nothing to do with me so I don’t talk about him much.

Do I know my birth parents?

No.

Do I ever think about meeting them?

I go through waves. Sometimes they begin to crash. The emotions come heavy. I think usually during the holidays, or my birthday or big milestone changes in my life. There have been times when I watch movies that have an adoption backstory, or I hear a podcast that I can relate to. That always stirs up a desire but then I think of all the things that can go right and wrong. More wrong to be honest.

What emotion(s) do I feel often as an adoptee?

Fear, fear of change, being out of control, abandonment, loss, not being liked, anger. People pleasing, and codependency.

What questions do I often think about?

I wonder if my mom, siblings, or dad ever think about me. I wonder if they have ever come looking for me. I wonder the infamous question “Why”.

I also grew up feeling very angry at life.

The most painful thing for me is that I don’t own any pictures before the age of 4. This is why I feel very disconnected—to my birth story. Anything before the age of 4 is a blur to me—a piece of my life missing. This might be the cause of why I struggled with PPD and PPA when I had my own children. Anyone struggling with PPD and PPA you’re not alone. Seek help, pray and find your happy place again.

What would you tell your parents if you ever got the opportunity to meet them?

Well, I don’t feel like I have any connection to my bio dad, but I do feel a small connection with my bio mom. I think because my dad tells me I look like her. He also mentioned I had a biological sister. At this point in my healing journey, I would tell her, thank you! Thank you for giving me life. Thank you for trying to keep me safe. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to live a better life. I would also be honest and tell her I often think about her. Now would I let her in my house? No, not until I get to know what her intention is, and see if she is a safe person to let into my life and family.

What are the things I am thankful for?

I am thankful for my mom and dad’s heart to answer the calling to adopt me. I’m also thankful for my younger sister to accept me as her true sister. After they adopted me they gave birth to my sister. I am also thankful for getting the opportunity to live in America. I also have the freedom to speak and write. I am thankful for being able to work and create a beautiful life with my now husband and daughters.

Do I love my adopted parents?

Yes, I consider them my only parents. They loved me unconditionally. Yes we had our struggles, and I didn’t always make it easy on them, and vice versa but they still loved me with scars and all.

Would I ever adopt?

If God opened the door for us, and my husband was fully on board. Yes.

What encouragement would I give to another adoptee?

Always be your true self. Ask the hard questions. Don’t be afraid to go searching for your true self, and your identity. Know that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made. You’re not a mistake. You have a God-given purpose on this earth, and when you find out what that is you will walk in your true calling. Make space to heal from your past so that you don’t bleed emotionally into every relationship God bless you with. Always remember that your brokenness God will use to bring healing to others. Allow God to turn your mess into a message of love, grace, and purpose. Lastly, it’s not your fault. You had no control over other people’s emotions and decisions in life. But it is your choice on how you chose to live the remaining of your life. So live abundantly free from anger, unforgiveness, resentment, and all bitterness. Make peace with your past so that you can live out all the great things God has for you.” – Reyna

Where have I found my peace?

In 2011 I hit rock bottom. I had an identity crisis, I was very angry. depressed with crippling anxiety. I was battling loneliness. I had ended a 4-year codependent relationship. It was at that moment that I had to face all my fears, insecurities, and demons.

I realized I had always relied on someone to bring me contentment in this life. I wasn’t happy alone. When I was alone I was afraid. I was afraid to sit with me “Reyna”. I often needed validation from others, I just wanted to be loved. It was that year that I chose to make space for my spirit, mind, and body to heal. I spend time alone getting to know myself, I built an intimate relationship with my creator — G _ D! I chose to boldly seek Jesus and trust that he would heal all my past wounds, and cleanse my heart, and make things new for me. It was a transforming year for me! I began to love myself, forgive myself, and attract healthy people in my life. The fruit on the bare tree began to flourish. I then met my now husband and he was a part of my healing story of G_Ds grace and love! Then I gave birth to my two girls and I received more healing. My life is full of love. I thank G_d for that!

I leave you with some encouraging truth:

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.  Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. John 15

In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will…” Ephesians 1:5

“You are so loved. brave. creative. Now go create something beautiful in this world.” -Reyna

 

You’re not alone in this pain.

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

I have often felt alone in my pain. Like no one else can relate to all the feelings I have. Feeling like I’m the only one in this emotional chaos. A tumbleweed of emotions. The wind blowing me left, right and all around! Everyday trying to center myself, and capture every thought captive. I have questioned my Heavenly Father, “Why me?” Why do I have tall these emotions, this kind of story, a story of pain, division, different types of abuse, addictions, hardship, sorrow, a generation of brokenness?

The Lord replied, “Why not you Reyna”? I want to use your pain to touch the lives of many. Your pain, your stories, your life is relatable to many. You just don’t realize it because they are suffering in silence. And the more you keep your pain to yourself the longer you all will suffer in silence.

I walked on this earth to set people free. I gave you that story because I knew I could trust you with that pain. I knew I could trust you to share it to set other people free.

I want to break every chain, addictions, strongholds, and demonic spirits that cause chaos in the lives of my children.

I want people to see my power working through you. I want people to experience my healing power through your redemption story.

My love is sufficient. My love heals all wounds. My love turns your ashes in to something beautiful.

I am mighty to save.

I am your true companion.

I am your healer.

I am your healing balm.

I gave you all those emotions so you can write and bring healing to many.

Will you write? Will you sing? Will you paint? Will you draw? Will you create? Will you speak?

Will you stop running from my purpose for your life.

Will you be willing to share the redemption story I am writing through you?

Will you allow me to create something beautiful with your ashes? – God

I wonder where your obedience will take you- God

“I wonder where your obedience will take you.” -Pastor drew griffin 

@drewmarkgriffin

Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever envisioned that I get to share the book that God placed on my heart to write at the group where I once received freedom. House group -Freedom group at The House Fort Worth 

Last night I got to share my testimony – a recovery timeline of all that God has done in my life. How he turned my ashes into something beautiful. 

I am thankful for this opportunity and journey. 

Remember our recovery is not for us to keep but to give away to others. 

@reynamorrisco

Dear Daughter, Live abundantly free. —Book Launch Nov 1st 2020

I couldn’t wait any longer. 

It’s time. 

I did a thing. 

I wrote a book.

A dream of minecoming to fruition—8years thinking about it, planning it out in my head. 

Finally I got the courage to step out, write it and commit to the process. 

Why did it take so long? Fear, doubt, limiting beliefs, not consistent, and no discipline. 

Finally 1 week before covid happened I heard It in my spirit it’s time to write no more playing around reyna. If you want this dream you have to go after it afraid. Then the covid stayhome order happened. So I knew it was really time, no more excuses. 

So I called a few people (an author friend that is experienced in the writing process @matildabelleproductions , another life coach other than myself @sheis_fulfilled , and accountability partners @graham.becca ) to tell them I need accountability in the writing process. 

I wanted to honor myself and commit to my dream. It took work, sacrifice, dedication, and courage!

Every week I talked to them to check in. It kept me faithful to the process. It took 8 months to get to the final steps. Now we are a few weeks from launch date. 

So get ready this book is filled with courage, hope, faith and freedom. It is a devotional, love letters from God that will set you free from your hurts, habits and fears. A book that will be life transforming and lead you to the abundant life God has for you! 

Stay connected for the launch countdown and pre-order your copy.

@reynamorrisco ✨

1 year sobriety!

Today is a big day for me!

1 year sobriety✨

This means a lot to me because 1 yr ago I didn’t know what my future would look like without alcohol.

When I gave it up completely, my mind & body went into panic. How would I survive without wine for the rest of my life?

I learned that I was so dependent on alcohol. I relied on it to cope with stress. I didn’t know how to cope with stress in healthy ways like exercising, prayer, yoga, running, meditating, reading a book, taking baths or talking to someone I could trust about my anxious thoughts, fears or concerns.

I didn’t know how to have fun at social events without a glass of wine in my hand. I thought I was more fun if I drank.

I worried about people not liking me anymore if I didn’t drink. I looked up at billboards & commercials they bombarded me with ads how alcohol was so fun . But they don’t talk about how alcohol ruins families and causes many deaths in the U.S.

People ask me “Reyna, I didn’t know you had a problem with alcohol, why did you stop drinking?” The truth is I stopped drinking bc alcohol ruined my life in so many ways. I was sick & tired of it controlling my life.

People around me drank to much and acted out in ways that were not safe and kind.

I saw loved ones in pain due to their loved ones drinking excessively.

I grew up hurt bc of it & started repeating the behavior & hurt people too bc I too abused alcohol.

I hurt my mind & body for putting alcohol in my system for so many years. Have you ever looked at the brain of someone that doesn’t drink and someone that does? It’s crazy! God has blessed me with this body to fulfill His plan here on Earth. I must treated it right & nourish it well. My body thanks me for letting go of those toxins. It also thanked me for getting my life healthy in so many ways. I now have boundaries for myself, what I will allow and not allow in my life.

Alcohol is no longer allowed to control me. It has no place in my mind, body or soul.

This is 1 of my biggest accomplishments. It’s a one day at a time process.

I celebrate myself today! It was not easy but so worth it!